The Heinous, God-Hating Sin of Gossip

For those of you listening to this blog, I'd encourage you to scroll down to the bottom of the article after listening to see any additional information that I share along with it. I'll try to give a link to another sermon or lecture that you might find helpful that goes along in tandem with what we are discussing. In this post I'll share a great sermon that goes along with the blog.

I want to start with a basic scenario to gauge your presuppositions and opinions on this topic. An old woman wakes up early in the morning, starts her day off with a cup of coffee, a sugar cube, and a toasted bagel. She has her Bible open at the end of the kitchen table with a highlighter and sits down in front of it to begin her morning devotions. She reads several chapters. After all, there's not much to do on the agenda today but eat and nap. After a while, her coffee nears the bottom of the cup, and she crunches away at the remaining creme cheese bagel before clasping her hands in prayer. She does this routine every day, making sure she gets her time in with the Lord. She finds that that's the best way to start any day.

After her Amen's, she takes her cup to the sink to rinse it out and places it on the drying rack, throws the crumb covered napkin in the trash, then picks up her cell phone on the way to the living room. She has a group of friends she talks to all day long, sometimes through texts and sometimes simply calls. All day long, she talks to her friends about someone else. The sin someone is tangled in. Her speculation that someone might be committing a sin. Her frequent "well, I heard..." that she inserts when the accusation made against someone wasn't as bad as someone else said. Not only speaking of things that are true, but she tosses out tragic possibilities of what someone might be involved with. She spent an hour in devotions this morning, but spent the rest of the day with unbridled thumbs and tongue, gossiping and slandering the day away to pass the time. Here's my question, is her faith genuine?

God gives overwhelming grace to those in sin. I'm sure you, like myself, can think of a time you struggled with sin as a Christian and yet God showered you with blessings. After all, where sin abounds, grace abounds more! (Romans 5:20). In my writings and sermons, I refrain from using language such as "God won't bless you if you do..." I can give you innumerable examples where there has been zero reason for God to bless me and show me grace and yet He has. And I am reminded constantly that even in my hypocrisy, He is patient and longsuffering. That does not mean that we should sin more that grace may abound (Romans 6:1-2). My point in stating this before answering the first question is to make clear that I'm not saying sweet old women and men aren't given equal grace in their sin. But let's consider what James says in regards to the scenario.

If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless. (James 1:26 ESV)

Simple, straight-forward, direct. No but's about it. No exceptions. Honest pastors who have been in ministry serving faithfully will tell you that the number one sin that splits a church family is not something as extreme as adultery. It's not pornography. It's not any sexual sin that we tend to elevate above all else. It is the unbridled gossiping tongue that will shatter a congregation. No sin is as damaging to a large amount of congregants as that, or a blood family for that matter. He goes on later in his epistle,

If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water? Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water. (James 3:3-12 ESV)

When the flame of gossip stirs up among God's people, it must be exterminated immediately. Let the pastor give no ear to it. Let the fellow congregants shut it down where it stands. Paul even addresses how to handle one who stirs up division,

But avoid foolish controversies, genealogies, dissensions, and quarrels about the law, for they are unprofitable and worthless. As for a person who stirs up division, after warning him once and then twice, have nothing more to do with him, knowing that such a person is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned. (Titus 3:9-11 ESV emphasis added)

Jesus uses similar language in Matthew 18 when giving instructions on disciplining someone from the church. Jesus says to treat them like a pagan or tax collector (Matt. 18:17).

So, going back to the original question, what do we do of the old lady's faith? After confronting her on the matter a few times, if she refuses to listen, have nothing more to do with her. Some of you reading that cringe. There are such heinous sins being committed out there. How can we excommunicate someone for a little gossip? Afterall, she made a point to do her devotions every day? But friends, Paul and James give these warnings about people who are committed to a local church during persecution! They risk their lives to be part of a local body of believers. It's not your unsaved neighbor who talks about people so badly. It's the one in the church whose sin is not being addressed and is damaging to the cause of Christ. The church is in the business of killing and hating sin, helping to bring sinners closer to the reflection of Christ. If we overlook someone's sin merely based on vain sincerity, we are not showing them love. We are entertaining what James calls worthless religion as genuine faith. The command to have nothing more to do with them is not just to separate yourself from their sin, but to make clear that they are not part of the church. They are lost, and lost people must be told that they’re lost.

We hear sermons addressing sin all the time. Be faithful to your marriage, do not hate your brother, guard your thoughts, don’t steal, honor your father and mother, etc.. Rarely do we hear full sermons on the sin of gluttony, slander, or gossip. Yet, throughout Scripture, we are told the wickedness of a gossiping, whispering tongue. How did we miss it? How did it happen that we have elevated all other sins over the heinousness of gossip? The reason, I believe, is because we’re all guilty of it. And without it, we’re not sure what else we would talk about.

Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets; therefore do not associate with a simple babbler. (Proverbs 20:19)

A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends. (Proverbs 16:28)

With his mouth the godless man would destroy his neighbor, but by knowledge the righteous are delivered. (Proverbs 11:9)

Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy in spirit keeps a thing covered. (Proverbs 11:13)

Whoever slanders his neighbor secretly I will destroy. Whoever has a haughty look and an arrogant heart I will not endure. (Psalm 101:5)

There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers. (Proverbs 6:16-19 All quotes from the ESV)

I’m only telling you because I want you to pray for them. Or even in a church prayer meeting, when taking prayer requests, someone will slip some information out about someone else. Not enough for people to know all the details, but enough for their minds to speculate into insanity. Perhaps the prayer request itself was based on pure speculation! Or, the seemingly well intentioned unspoken prayer request. I'm not saying this is always wrong, but I question the motives behind much of it. Maybe you're struggling with something deeply personal so you request prayer for it while keeping it covered. That's all well and good. What's not good is saying to others unspoken prayer request for Bob. God knows. Suddenly the prayer request isn't so unspoken anymore, and you've lit the flame in other's minds about what could possibly be going on. They will speculate, and they will speculate negatively. Let not your prayer request be made in sin. Practice bridling your tongue even among believers.

Usually, our defense mechanism for gossip is to relabel it. I’m not gossiping. This is true! Here is where we confuse gossip for slander. Slander is spreading falsehood about someone else. But gossip is spreading negative truth about someone else. They are usually coupled together, adding and piggybacking off of one another. Both are an abomination.

The Priest With Dirty Clothes

Gossip is like an accusation. How ironic that Satan’s name means Accuser. There’s a great example of this in Zechariah 3, one of my favorite passages in Scripture. I’ve even bought my soon to arrive daughter, Lilyan Grace, a children's book on this passage by RC Sproul titled The Priest in Dirty Clothes.

Then he showed me the high priest Joshua standing before the angel of the LORD, with Satan standing at his right side to accuse him. The LORD said to Satan: “The LORD rebuke you, Satan! May the LORD who has chosen Jerusalem rebuke you! Isn’t this man a burning stick snatched from the fire? ” Now Joshua was dressed with filthy clothes as he stood before the angel. So the angel of the LORD spoke to those standing before him, “Take off his filthy clothes! ” Then he said to him, “See, I have removed your iniquity from you, and I will clothe you with festive robes. (Zech 3:1-4 ESV)

The most obvious takeaway from this passage is that Satan was right. Joshua was standing in the presence of the Lord in dirty clothes, not in the clothes that were required of a priest in the presence of God (Exodus 28). The goal of the accusation was humiliation, guilt, and shaming. But God’s response was not, I know. But let him be. It was a command of silence. Satan, shut your mouth. He is like a stick covered in char, but I plucked him from the fire. I will give him clean clothes.

Notice the offense given at the mere statement of the obvious. It was true, but God would not tolerate it.

This is not a blog about “not judging others.” Matthew 7 actually gives the command to know people by their fruits. An example of this is David’s sin with Bathsheba. Nathan confronted the king for his sin and David came to repentance. Confrontation of sin is not sinful unless the person doing the confronting is guilty of unconfessed sin. Gossip does not confront someone of their sin. It whispers in the ears of others, pops up in a text message, and runs through the telephone lines to the ears and eyes of everyone but the person being talked about.

The Other Side of Gossip

Let’s consider being on the receiving end of gossip. Maybe you recognize the dangers of gossip because you yourself have been the victim of it. Gossip, slander, backbiting, you name it. Someone has drug your name through the dirt and exposed it to others. That feeling of emptiness and shame are so difficult to overcome. Who did they tell? Who did the ones they told tell later? How far has it gone, and how bad was it? Maybe it was gossip and slander mixed together, some of it was true while another part of it was false. That’s the best way to spread a rumor or conspiracy, by the way. If there’s just a hint of truth, people will eat up the rest.

We say sticks and stones, but when you’re a victim of gossip and slander, it can cripple your stability. Here are a few thoughts:

God is Sovereign

James makes clear that it is your responsibility to bridle your tongue, but nothing can spread about you that God does not permit. Just as Joseph being tossed into the pit by his brothers, they meant it for evil, but God meant it for good (Genesis 50:20). God will use it to your good and His glory if you are His.

Satan is the Accuser

God convicts us of our sin, but never brings it up again once confessed. RC Sproul, when teaching on Zechariah 3, made the point that Satan is a skeleton rattler. He loves opening doors and exploring closets we wish didn't exist, picking up shameful skeletons and rattling them in our ears to remind us of their prior existence. Gossip is one of the most powerful ways he accomplishes such, not just the mental anguish we suffer in ourselves.

Maybe you and your now spouse lived together before you got saved and were married. Maybe you had an addiction that was much more public than you'd ever wanted. Maybe as a Christian you battled a particular sin that you hate to your core but can't erase the memory of. Man, it feels like you're reminded all the time. But if you've confessed it and been forgiven, any accusation is from The Accuser, not The Savior.

We tend to think that when the Bible says that Satan comes to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10), that this means he only does so by steering people into sin. For example, if someone is a drunkard or a drug-addict, that's how Satan steals, kills, and destroys. Which does more damage to the kingdom? When a person falls into unrepentant sin, or when a herald of the Gospel of Jesus Christ is so grieved by guilt that they remain silent? What about when a minister's boldness to proclaim truth is destroyed by guilt? In Zechariah's vision, Satan went directly after Joshua the priest with accusations, not temptation. Satan will steal, kill, and destroy your joy and peace in the Lord. Guilty Christians make quiet Christians, and quiet Christians make useless Christians.

Beware of the one who constantly whispers about how Satan is working in everyone else's life. Most likely, he is doing more stealing, killing, and destroying through their whispering tongue.

God Hates Gossip

Sometimes we think that gossip only goes one way. The victim suffers, but the perpetrator gets off clean. Paul writes,

What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, “For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:31-39 ESV)

If someone mimics the behavior of Satan in Zechariah 3, standing to accuse Joshua of standing in God’s presence with dirty clothes, God stands to defend you just as He did Joshua. Is this not a brand plucked from the fire? If God went through the trouble of sending His Son to suffer and die on the cross for your justification and you wear His robes of righteousness, God pity the one who stands to accuse you of sins long forgiven. God pity the one who brings the charge against you. God hates gossip, but He doesn’t send gossip to hell. He hurls the one performing it into the fiery pit. Do not be deceived into thinking gossip has no consequence. The consequence is horrific, never-ending, tormenting justice.

The Gospel Reminder

I remember when I was in college, there was another local Christian university that had a prayer building that was always open. It was small and usually empty with kneeling pews and a large fountain in the middle. I liked to stop by once in a while on the weekends when I’d ride through the mountains. I remember once there was a small cross fashioned out of two sticks leaning against the fountain with a hammer, nails, and paper notes beside it. Odd, I thought, people nailing prayers to a cross. But when I looked closer, I realized people weren’t writing their prayers on the notes, but their sins. I felt a since of relief scribbling down on my note, nailing it to the small cross, and leaving it there. That little cross was completely covered in paper listing sins that Jesus had paid for on a cross.

If we had no sin, we'd have no need for Jesus. The point of the gospel is that you and your sin have no business being in the presence of God. You, a descendent of a creature made from dirt, continue after your father Adam in daily sin. Sin that is vile. Sin that is disgusting. Sin that is destroying.

I don't believe in airing out your dirty laundry, but I believe we need to drop the idea that we should carry this "Christian" image that we have no sin. After all, if we say we have no sin, the truth is not in us (I John 1:8). Christians are accused by unbelievers all the time of being "Holier Than Thou," but the point in being a Christian is that we've professed we have no holiness at all! The only righteousness I have is that which Christ has given me. I take the label "Christian" because it is by Him that I'm not a slave to sin anymore. I still struggle with it, but it can't damn me anymore. And the only reason that I can keep that standing before Him is because The Father holds me in His Hand and promises that nothing can pluck me from it.

When rumors, gossip, and terrible memories flood through your mind, remember the perfection of Jesus. Remember that He left His heavenly fellowship with the Father and the Holy Spirit to willingly come to earth. Remember His righteous works of love. Remember His innocence. Remember the accusations. Remember the betrayal. Remember the times He was proven innocent in court. Remember how they still chanted "Crucify!" Remember His tattered clothes. Remember the mocking lashes He bore. Remember the thorned crown pressed into His skull. Remember His beard plucked from His face. Remember the hands that healed being nailed to a cross. Remember with each swing of the hammer, another sin being added upon Him. Remember your sin on the cross being lifted with ropes and the jolt of His body when the base fell into the hole. Remember each crushing strain He made pushing upwards to breathe, His clothes being auctioned off in front of Him, and His naked humiliation hanging before the crowd and His mother. Remember His prayer for forgiveness He made for those who put Him there. Remember His separation from the Father as the Sinless Son of God became Sin. Remember His thundering victory cry that it was finished. Remember, as you fight the guilt and shame of old sin, that Jesus knew and possessed what was required to defeat your sin, achieved it, and that His sacrifice satisfied the Father. Remember that at any moment legions of angels could have been called down to stop the heinous act, yet doing so would only leave you in your sin. Remember your sins being brutally crucified to the cross, and leave it there.

Therefore, on those dark days when Satan opens the file cabinet and shuffles to the darkest records of your past, ready to cripple you to your core and silence your joyful noise for God, quickly become impatient at the time it takes to retrieve it. It's here somewhere, he insists. I remember it. Finally, when that dark file is found and he slams it down to pronounce judgment, behold the scattered pages saturated with the innumerable righteous works of Christ. That can't be right, he exclaims! You add to this file daily! He will turn back to the file cabinet and begin heaving all of the pages out, tossing them in the air until your mind is chaotic with a storm of flying paper. As the records come down on you, hold out your arms and embrace the shower of the Christ's Righteousness filled on every page. Satan will be back to revisit the drawer, most likely after you feel you've added another dark page. In which case, it will be another great time relish in the righteousness imputed to your account by Jesus.

Charles Spurgeon explains it well,

“The Christian will have many accusers. The devil will come and say “that man is a great sinner” “I don’t remember it,” says God. “That man rebelled against thee, and cursed thee,” says the accuser. “I do not remember it,” says God, “for I have said I will not remember his sins.” Conscience says, “Ah! but Lord, it is true, I did sin against thee, and that most grievously.” “I don’t remember it,” says God -- “I said, I will not remember his sins.” Let all the demons of the pit clamour in God’s ear, and let them vehemently shout out a list of our sins, we may stand boldly forth at that great day, and sing, “who shall lay anything to the charge of God’s elect?” for God does not even remember their sin. The Judge does not remember it, and who then shall punish?”

I emphasize that this message is for believers, not the lost. If you do not know Christ yet, this does not pertain to you. You can only share and reap the benefits of the atonement by repentance and faith in Christ (I John 1:9; Romans 10:10-13).

A Little Stiff, Unflattering Honesty

Sir, if you are a participant of gossip, you need to separate yourself from those whom you shoot off at the mouth with. Pick a different hang out. Take a break from social media. Take time to pray and ask God to bridle your tongue as to not dishonor Him. Further, if gossip is a common occurrence in your home, it’s time to step up and be a man. Love your family enough to address the sin and leave no tolerance for it. Affirm with Joshua as you smite the sin that creeps in, me and my house, we will serve the Yahweh. (Joshua 24:15)

Ma’am, heed the warning the Apostle Paul made directly to women who have nothing to do with their time.

Besides that, they learn to be idlers, going about from house to house, and not only idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying what they should not. So I would have younger widows marry, bear children, manage their households, and give the adversary no occasion for slander. For some have already strayed after Satan. If any believing woman has relatives who are widows, let her care for them. Let the church not be burdened, so that it may care for those who are truly widows. (I Timothy 5:13-16 ESV)

Busy yourself with things that glorify God. If your cell phone causes you to sin, making it easier to go house to house, throw it away. Pull the phone cord from the wall. Go to serve others in the church to busy your mind from sin. Get a part-time job. It is imperative that you give yourself no opportunity to fall into gossip!

Sir/ma’am, if you are guilty of the sin of gossip, you need to pull over, step out of the room, stop reading, or pause the podcast, and immediately cry out to God for forgiveness. It is not a small sin, and the consequences for such actions are far worse than the effects the victim suffers at the mercy of your unbridled tongue. Repent as though your eternal standing before God depends on it. After all, it does.

For more information on the topic, see the link below!

God Hates Gossip - YouTube